12.27.2005
My father has gotten me hooked on a new thing, an obsession if you will.
The Bargain Channel.
Let me explain. While I live in a large town, we have lots of little towns sprinkled in the surrounding area. My dad works in one of them, a tee niny burg named Macclenny. Aside from being famous as the home of the state hospital for the insane, Macclenny also plays host to my new favorite radio station-WJXR, The Bargain Channel.
I was driving my father's car one day, and when I turned the radio on, I heard a man hawking CB radio/radar detector gizmos for $19.95. NINETEEN NINETY FIVE!! To listen to this man talk you could make friends over the radio with the same police you were eluding while travelling I-10 to the big city. I was fascinated by the combination of As Seen on TV dreck and country radio personalities.
Since that time, I've bought "magic" calculators which are small vials that include a thin calculator and a "parker style" pen. When you open the vial and twist it, it magically changes colors! Those were 2 bucks a pop, great for stockings this Christmas. I've also bought paper towels in holiday prints, 2 rolls for a buck fifty. A 23 pound whole bone in ham for $39.95 and a spa gift certificate for 24 dollars. For me, the draw isn't in the actual items, it's in the fabulous on air personalities that have been attracted to this small radio station.
In the morning you can listen to Discount Doug, who calls everyone "love", "deah" and "dahlin". After lunch is Price Cutter Paul who ends every call with "have a blessed day" and refers to his wife as "Miss Melissa". Then there's "the Chief" who apparently finds all the deals. He calls in from Dunn Pawn and Jewelry with the 2 carat oval cut Mystic Fire Topaz ring set in 10k yellow or white gold. That's a retail value of $599.00 but he has wrangled 3, just 3 of them for us for just 9 dollars. Hurry folks, we'll put these on the timer and they'll be gone before you know it!
By far though, my favorite is Barbara. She's on at night, when I'm driving home from work. She has the whisky and cigarette voice of your favorite diner waitress, but there's also a girlish sweetness to it. She's just so damn happy to hear from you when you call in, answering the phones with her "dubya jay ex ar" and then her scratchy "hello hunny!" when she recognizes a voice of a frequent buyer. Last night she nearly had a seizure when Leon told her that he was going to offer the "magic cleaner" in the next segment. It's too bad I got home before I could find out just how much the magic cleaner was going for, I could've spent my morning sitting at the station with all the other addicts, waiting for my turn to pick up my order of 95 cents worth of ammonia and water.
posted by Keriann at 12/27/2005 12:03:00 PM comment(s) made:
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